FOR SALE: 2.3 MILLION PLASTIC HAMMERS/SHAMROCKS!!

Right Folks, its time to face up to the harsh reality!  Steven “gonna give the Euro’s a right bash” Staunton now officially hasn’t a clue!!  This, in my opinion, is borne out by his latest squad selection, and miscellaneous comments surrounding Ireland’s upcoming European Championships Qualifiers against Cyprus and Czech Republic.  Granted we’ve been hit with a series of injuries that wouldn’t happen in a Junior C hurling match, but seriously folks, who is Jay Tabb?!? (Rhetorical question, he plays for Coventry).  We have few world class players as it is but now the barrell is well and truly being scraped.

Now I’m not a huge fan of the Eircom League.  Cork, Shelbourne and Derry City are the only decent teams in it, although I have inflicted a visit to Waterford United on myself on occasion (I was in need of a depressant, honest!).  But, particularly bearing in mind Derry City’s European adventure this year, surely there are a few guys playing for those teams who are considerable better than a lower Championship or League One player?

I’m getting the impression that Staunton’s management policy is as follows:

  • Pick 22 Irish players from the list that the FAI gave me (I trust John!).
  • Pick the obvious good players and then use a pin to pick the rest.
  • Leave out anyone over 30 who isn’t my friend, or very very good, irrespective of how well they are currently playing.
  • Get them to plays lots of mini-matches in training, so that I can join in and re-live the glory days.
  • Pick the team using a combination of probable lineups as listed in daily Irish papers.
  • Give them a “blood & guts”, “pride in the shamrock” rousing speech before the match (Any team can win after one of these, well it always worked for Jack anyway)
  • Repeat speech at half time.
  • In post match press conference make continuous references to how well we battled, irrespective of result. (Try and mention “character” at least 4 times)
  • Go back to England and watch European football on telly and dream of my glorious future.

So, if anyone wants my plastic hammer they can have it cheap, I probably won’t need one again this decade!

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~ by knightfall on October 5, 2006.

One Response to “FOR SALE: 2.3 MILLION PLASTIC HAMMERS/SHAMROCKS!!”

  1. all together now -we’re all parts of stanno’s army, we’re all off too …wait now a minute …

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