ESSENTIAL ADDITIONS TO THE WORKPLACE VOCABULARLY

BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was
missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on
everything, and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and
advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than by working hard.

SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only
to get screwed and die in the end.

CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm,
and people’s heads pop up over the walls to see what’s going on.

MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation’s answer to the couch potato.

STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you
find yourself unable to stop watching them.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device
to get it to work again.

ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file.
Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant
to the problems they were designed to solve.

404: Someone who is completely clueless. From the World Wide Web error message ‘404 Not
Found’ (meaning that the requested document, like the person’s brain, could not be located.)

OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you’ve just made a BIG mistake.

CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously passing wind while passing through a cube farm, then enjoying
the sounds of dismay and disgust.

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~ by knightfall on June 19, 2008.

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