ACTAUL WRITING FROM HOSPITAL CHARTS

•April 8, 2009 • Leave a Comment
1. The patient refused autopsy.
2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was veryhot in bed last night.
5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
6. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
12. She is numb from her toes down.
13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
14. The skin was moist and dry.
15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

WHO SCORED THAT GOAL!!

•April 3, 2009 • Leave a Comment

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0cccj50xzE

Well Noel Hunt reckons he did.

Robbie Keane is adamant he did.

If you look from behind the goal it looks like Hunt did, and I actually think he did.

Why?

Look till the end.  Noel Hunt is hobbling with a sore ankle.  Probably got a kick in it.  Only one suspect.  So, if Keane kicked Hunt he can’t have kicked the ball. 

Though, that said, why didn’t Hunt claim it straight away? 

He tried to.  Look at him run away after it goes in.  He then realises he’s on his own and just joins the throng.

In my opinion:  Hunt’s goal!!!

U2 IN JULY MAKES IT ALL WORTHWHILE!

•March 19, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Am I the only one still finding the return to work after the New Year a stretch?  I reckon I’ll put it down to the feeling for working for free, the way that the economy is going.  But, I am eternally grateful that I have a job to hang onto.

But, I do have some good new, thank God!

Yesterday, I got my grubby little paws on a couple of tickets for U2 and the Kaiser Chiefs in Croke Park on 25 July next!!  I’m already looking forward to it, especially as its my reward for bringing herself to see Elton John in June!  (Not really looking forward to that!)  I thought I’d done my penance when I went to Robbie Williams a couple of years ago!!

I’m currently working my way through U2’s new album, “No Line on the Horizon”.  Its a grower to be honest, and will probably take a few listens before I get my head totally around it.  After the first few listens I’m somewhere between unimpressed and the way I felt after listening to “The Unforgettable Fire” about 20 times!  I know that I’ll like it in the end 🙂

So, if you’re going to U2 in July, queue up early, and lets rock on!!!

SHOULD THE PENSION LEVY BE CHANGED?

•February 17, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Currently this nation is in a period of deep depravation, mourning, a flux, if you like.  We have no money.  What we do have we’re afraid to spend.  And, what we do spend we spend sparingly.

I am the accursed devil of the current political/social/financial situation.  I am a civil servant!

I expect that that will draw extreme panic from any reader.  I am after all a overpaid, leech on society.  I’m sure that it is irrelevant to you, dear reader, that I earn no more than the average industrial wage, or that I already, despite popular opinion pay 5% of my wages towards my pension.  This is to be now increased to 13.9%, therefore taking €75 per week extra from my wages.  I don’t want your sympathy, nor am I stupid enough to expect it.  I appreciate that we all have to make a contribution.

However, it should be a fair and equitable contribution.  Civil servants have mortgages and bills too, they pay taxes too.  Yes, we are fortunate enough to have guaranteed jobs (up to a point), and to have a pension.  But, to pay for these we are, on average, paid less than m0st private employees.

So, no, we aren’t being unfair by looking for the levy to be changed.  We aren’t the cause of the problems.  The people who chased every available euro where they could get it are.  You might be one of them, so you won’t get any sympathy either.

DESIDERATA

•November 6, 2008 • Leave a Comment

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let not this blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams; it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful.

Strive to be happy.

— Max Ehrmann, 1927

CONGRATS BARACK!

•November 5, 2008 • Leave a Comment

Many congratulations to Barack Obama!

You ran a great campaign and generally seemed to keep it clean and about the issues.  I know that some people will have problems with some of your policies but if ever anyone had a chance to prove people wrong, well, its you!

Commiserations to McCain, you contributed to one of the greatest presidential races since the 60’s.

And, of course, you gave us every mans dirty little secret……….Sarah Palin!

NIL SATIS, NISI OPTI……..MUM!

•November 4, 2008 • Leave a Comment

For anyone who still doesn’t know/care what the name of this blog refers to.

This blog is named after the motto of my favourite football (soccer for the yanks) club.  Everton FC.

And, man, like every club, in every sport, supported by anyone out there; they really, really know how to put you through the ringer!  After qualifying for Europe last season and doing so well, here we are this year already out of Europe and struggling in the league.  Didn’t but any new players until the last possible moment and then compounded that by breaking the clubs transfer record for a virtually unknown twenty year old Belgian international.

But, I’m all for positives, and after two struggling wins over Bolton Wanderers and Fulham we seem to be getting some way back on track.  Hopefully, now that David Moyes, the manager, has signed a new contract the club can push on and hopefully have a run in one of the cups and push back up the league.

I’ll live in hope, but hey, isn’t that the way it’s supposed to be!